The END IS NIGH. (Cue melodramatic music, zombies in the place of humans, skeptics watching with disgust, the promised 'judgement' [judgement day] being biased and corrupt, served on a bed of a ridiculous premise - [think Britain's Got Talent]).
I'm frustrated. According to a large influx of media, on 21st December we're all going to die. In the eyes of deranged cults, this newsflash is a blessing for them to prove that their ideas - that bring skeptics out in a cold, cynical sweat - are justified and true.
Personally, I think they are absolutely ridiculous - and if they are, for some impossible reason, true - that kinda sucks. I mean, I won't even get to indulge in the extra-large chocolate in my advent calendar. The image of a wild pack of zombies chomping my last Christmassy Lindt chocolates whilst trying to say: "Lindt - Do you dream in chocolate?" through their mouthful of human flesh and gristle... well, makes me a little bit sick.
I can't even get into the apocalyptic spirit by going to the Prodigy's Pre-End-Of-The-World gig because I'm not old enough. So, bah humbug to the end. Nonetheless, I'm going to keep you updated with all these fantastically far-fetched stories, as we build up to 'the end', but I will of course keep my skeptical nature intact.
And for some weird (cough, cough: LOGICAL) reason we live to tell the tale of bloody nothing happening on the 21st, I'll keep you in the know about any other deathly theories that are prophecised (cough, cough: INVENTED). God, I've got a pretty bad cough - must be the pungent whiff of bullshit surrounding these myths... (and the end, begins...)
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